Wandering Days

Oh there are those days, when I just can’t seem to get focused. I desire more of God, more of His Word, His presence and His love….and yet somehow, no matter what I do, my mind is going a thousand different directions and I feel far away. I want to meet with the Holy One, and my mind jumps to a bill that needs to be paid, a to-do list that has been left undone, watering, cleaning, lessons, email… The myriad of distractions are endless, and somehow it seems that I cannot force myself to remain focused on all that really matters now and for all of eternity…my personal relationship with Him. The Almighty. The I am.

These wandering days seem to come out of no where. They cause me to wonder, “Why am I struggling to feel close, struggling to focus on the word, struggling to read, to pray to listen to that still, small voice? So I wander, staring at rows of titles lining bookshelves, hoping that some words will reach out and grab me. And when that doesn’t happen, I walk past more bookshelves, seeking that impressive title, that moment…it doesn’t come. So I shake myself loose. I pray. I seek. I listen. Laying myself before Him, finally, I surrender. “God. Ok. Here I am. Just me. Ready to pray, ready to listen, ready to receive.”

And as I pray that simple prayer…it leads to another. Cries from my heart begin to come. Thankful, humbled. I am seeking.

Lord would you stir my heart? Awaken love in me again. Cause me to be stirred with a deep desire, deep passion for you, for your love. I am wandering, looking searching for something! Something greater! Something to excite me stir me help me to press on…something that will take me deeper into your presence, I am hungry for an encounter! Something to remind me of your love, your forgiveness and grace. My heart is aching, longing.

He faithfully responds. I listen. He speaks in so many ways. Through his Word, straight to my heart, my mind…confirming, encouraging, correcting. He reminds me that He never went anywhere. I wandered. He didn’t. I wondered. He remained the same. I searched. He was speaking. When I was was ready to receive, He was already pouring out.

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About jaw123456

I am a forty-something year old woman with a thousand interests. I am married to an incredible man who holds my heart. Living wholesome lives and training our children to lead lives that are worthy of the calling that God has for them is our hearts desire. Some of my interests include faith, family, adoption, homeschooling, whole and wholesome foods, cooking, sewing and living simply.
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2 Responses to Wandering Days

  1. Hope says:

    I love this! Thank you for the powerful encouragement! You totally put into words everything I’ve been feeling and praying for in this time! I love you!

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