Daniel Fast, Day Twenty

Oh this morning was an interesting one…..

I am not sure if it is because I am at the end of this fast and there is a part of me that is sad, (or if it is because I just need some meat!) or if I just needed an emotional release. Whatever the case, I had quite the cry this morning. I was spending my usual time in prayer – praying over specific things I pray for daily. Praying for my wonderful husband, my children, each of our children, our finances, our church and Pastors, and then I prayed for a couple of friends who were on my heart. I felt prompted to write a card to these friends. It was during this process that I felt the rush of emotions come.

A little history…One of these friends has been in my life for more than thirty years. We both turn forty this coming week. She has been a constant encouragement for me in our adult years, and the longest friendship I have maintained. She inspired me to home school my children. I am aware of her godly influence in my life. She and I have shared many wonderful conversations over the years. She challenges me to think about everything with a biblical perspective. My other friend has been a part of my life for fourteen years. She is also a tremendous blessing to me. She has prayed for me and walked alongside of me during rough patches and times of victory. I have been deeply honest with her in ways that I have never shared with anyone. I have allowed her to see into my life like no one else. I have said things to her that I have never spoken to anyone else, and she has remained a true confidante without judgement. She also encourages me to be a better mom and a better wife.

So as I wrote these cards to two of the most beautiful, amazing women in my life, it almost felt as though I was saying goodbye all over again. The emotions that I felt as I drove away from each of their homes for the last time on the mainland was present. I had to allow myself to go there. Once I started crying, it quickly became sobbing. I took my bible, my hot water, and my prayer journal out to the lanai and just bawled. Yes, the ugly cry. Once the tears subsided and I could see again, I began to write and write and write. Then the tears would come again. I miss these women. There is nothing quite like experiencing deep, meaningful relationships with other women. It has been nearly a year since I have sat across a table from them and talked in person…or hugged them. I felt as though I am missing so much of their lives. I miss their children, I miss their faces, and I miss being close enough that I could just go see them. And yet, I know this is where God has us, and I am so blessed to be here in Hawai’i, I would not change it for anything…I just want these women and their families to be able to come and visit and experience a part of our life here…this part is what feels so uncertain. As I looked up through the palm trees there was a little glimpse of a rainbow just hovering there…as if God placed it there just for me. Reminded of His promises to me, I began to smile and the tears faded.

Our Menu Today:

Sliced fruit with brown rice cake and peanut butter

Black Bean and Veggie Chili, with tons of veggies (celery, carrot, squash, onion, garlic, etc) and a little brown rice

Large Green salad with all kinds of sliced veggies, apples, pears, raisins

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About jaw123456

I am a forty-something year old woman with a thousand interests. I am married to an incredible man who holds my heart. Living wholesome lives and training our children to lead lives that are worthy of the calling that God has for them is our hearts desire. Some of my interests include faith, family, adoption, homeschooling, whole and wholesome foods, cooking, sewing and living simply.
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