Okay. The cravings have become less again. Don’t get me wrong there are still things we are missing….I think my children may have started a list of the things they plan to eat in the coming weeks following the fast. I am encouraging them, and instructing them, that a slow re-entry into the world of other foods is a must.
I awoke this morning after a most frightening nightmare. It was very disturbing to me because of how helpless I was. I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare, but I recall that feeling of helplessness. This seems to be the case all too often in bad dreams. Why is it that during a nightmare we are frozen in fear? Or something awful is about to happen to a loved one, and you try to shout out and no sound comes out of your mouth? This was the problem in my very vivid dream, I was frozen. My husband kept saying, “shhhh” as I was crying out. My heart continued to race for quite some time afterward, and I tried to fall back asleep so I could see a better ending to the dream. Every time I dozed again, I was back in the same spot and begging God for help in this situation. And each time, there I was – helpless.
I realize this dream could have been prompted by many different things. My prayer today was that if there was something that I was to understand in this dream, that I would. I wrote out all the details in my prayer journal. The last line of my entry impacted me most. “In my head I was reviewing, planning and praying – but I could take no action. I was frozen.” Oh what a haunting feeling! I realize there are many times in life in which we plan, pray, think, hope, dream, ask God, and ask some more. Sometimes, we have to take action! God is sovereign and He has the ability to redirect me if any action I take is not a part of His best plan for me. There are times I need to take the risk, take action – rather than just sit on the sidelines, motionless.
Later in the day, we made the opportunity to talk and write in our prayer journals. The children and I shared about how it can be difficult, in any area of life, to have the endurance it takes to finish well and not become weary. With the distractions of the world, we can get weighed down by many things. God can get pushed out-of-the-way as other things occupy our thoughts, and our hearts.
I am pressing in during this last part of the fast. Hoping to pray even more, make more time for God…say “no” to things when I need to, and free myself up more to spend time with Him. I want to keep my eyes firmly fixed on Jesus.