Soaring and Struggling

Why is it that in the ebb and flow of life, one day I can feel as though I am soaring with the Lord and the next day it feels like a struggle to smile?

Life is so good here in Hawai’i. I feel as though the Lord has blessed us in every imaginable way. He has solidly taken care of the details of our lives, as only He can.

We had a great weekend. We spent time at the beach, had lunch with new friends after church on Sunday. Spent time with family attending a choir concert and a piano recital. Played games with family til all hours of the night a few days in a row. Experienced some wonderful star-gazing. Good times.

Yesterday was a great day. Our first day back to school after a busy week. Moving through the routine sometimes feels good. There was a great rhythm to our day. We were relaxed, and moved through school well. Covering every subject!

Today…well, today is another story. I felt a sense of sadness and a twinge of stress from the moment the birds started chirping this morning…with no identifiable reason. There were factors throughout the day that added to my discouragement. I knew what I needed to do, but just couldn’t quite get there. I thought well, maybe I was feeling the struggle because I have been in such a good place. I have felt so convicted and challenged and encouraged by some books I have been reading coupled with scripture, prayer and journaling. I have a fresh desire to press in and identify some things that need to be addressed and prayed over. As well as the humbling presence of God that teaches, convicts, reveals and restores. He is so good.

Then came schooling. No one seemed to be in the mood to be as serious as I wanted them to be, so it felt as though we were in conflict from the start. It seems as though the children have been taking turns with grumpy attitudes. It is in those moments that respect and honor for one another seems to be completely lacking.

So here I sit, sad and a little lonely. Today I miss the closeness of long time friends and the ability to be able to share with people who know me and know my heart. I know the feelings I am experiencing today will also pass…and I will again be feeling as though I am soaring. For today, I am having a season of… blah.

Thank you Lord that your love for me does not change. Even as my emotions are affected by everything around me, You are the same – ALWAYS! I need your loving touch today. Renew me, refresh me. Thank you for loving me.


About jaw123456

I am a forty-something year old woman with a thousand interests. I am married to an incredible man who holds my heart. Living wholesome lives and training our children to lead lives that are worthy of the calling that God has for them is our hearts desire. Some of my interests include faith, family, adoption, homeschooling, whole and wholesome foods, cooking, sewing and living simply.
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One Response to Soaring and Struggling

  1. home2learn says:

    what a beautiful post … thank you for sharing so vulnerably and honestly. as we’ve talked about before, change is BIG … be it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ change. this is most certainly a good, incredible change … and as you so eloquently shared, the “tide” will turn back to that place of awesome contentment and joy for you.
    i love you and wish (so badly) that we could hug tightly and enjoy a coffee date.

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